i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
