oh god the rape fog is back!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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