Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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