its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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