Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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