i don't plan on having that self control this summer
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You made out with two different species that night
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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