I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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