It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
