very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
