No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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