its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
