Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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