Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
