ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What a dumb baby whore.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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