but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
