69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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