i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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