suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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