ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
