Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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