Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
