the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
