I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
