Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
