Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
