he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
someone owes me an orgasm
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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