I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
