Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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