My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
