just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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