no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
