I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
