So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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