We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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