I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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