New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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