you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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