My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
