Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
