I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The struggles of a small town man whore
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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