i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
