the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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