Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
