Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
