whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
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