so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
