take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
lol hangovers are for mortals.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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