Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
