i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
