So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
