He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I want to walk on stilts...naked
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I wish there were birth control emojis
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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